No one ever told me that I would be 33 and still trying to figure “me” out. The more I’ve talked to other friends, relatives, and mothers, I’m learning it’s definitely not unique just to me. And I have a feeling it’s the same journey we are all on, will all be on, as long as we are here. Although maybe not. My 93 year old grandmother sure seemed sure of herself and knew exactly who she was before she passed away this last December. How I wish I could ask her when she “arrived” at knowing herself, or was it some kind of blessing people who grew up in the depression age received.
In January of 2015 I made a New Year’s Resolution to read more. I wanted to read 15 books, which seemed like a possible but challenging goal, especially in this current season of life. I had only read maybe 10 in the last 10 years. I was awakened to a genre on self-development and happiness, which to my surprise and sadness, was something lacking in the “Christian” genre that I had invested in for so long. Why wasn’t I aware of Tony Robbins, Napolean Hill, Jack Canfield, and their words of life, peace, joy, and what I attribute to whole-living, as God intends it to be. I read things about love, and meditating, and listening to others and yourself. About being true to who you are and finding your peace. Why are people in the church so scared of this? As a result of baptizing myself in all of this, I found an astonishing number of strategies to unlock my joy and begin to really love the days I’m in for what they are.
An added pleasure for my heart is finding people who are doing the same. People who want to impact the world for love, change the culture from within, go against systems for a precise purpose (instead of just for the heck of being different), and passionately raise families that take friendship to the highest level. These people want to challenge the status quo and live with vitality and joy. Friends who say, “If it matters to you, it matters to me”.
I am an extrovert who loves being alone. I love playing tennis, doing yoga, and running. I love homeschooling my 3 boys though it’s taken many (many) months to really fall in love with it. I passionately adore my husband and think he’s the smartest, most honorable man on the planet (seriously, we call him Captain Honorpants). I love getting up early before anyone in the house and having coffee alone with an inspiring book. I love traveling to new places, getting lost and finding hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I love family traditions and the comfort of knowing what we are doing during special times like the holidays. I love white plates and how they always make your food look gorgeous and thoughtful. I love meaningful gifts. I love fresh flowers and fresh air. I love hiking and mountains and ache for natural beauty that is -in my opinion- hard to find in Texas. I love to read inspiring texts, but dislike novels (at least at this point in my life). I also love watching documentaries about exciting adventures. It’s a way to vicariously live through someone that may have more of a realistic means (ie. not with their small kids 24/7) than I do in this season of life. Maybe I’ll post some of my favorites sometime. I am highly goal-oriented and love a challenge, especially a physical one. I do not like speaking in public, but I love listening to high-level thinkers talk among themselves . I’m learning that even when I can’t articulate an opinion on a matter, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid. There’s more, and there’s more I’m learning about myself. And that’s a beautiful thing. For when you know yourself, you can encourage others to be themselves and in turn be a better mother, wife and friend.